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Internet Apocalypse Day One: The Travesty

[Ed. note: This story was originally penned in full, from an iPhone on a 3G network, now spellchecked and corrected...]

At Wednesday at 2:45AM, while working feverishly on an 8AM deadline, and steaming music from dubstep.fm, the music stopped.   Yeah, it does that sometimes. Usually it starts back on its own, and sometimes I have to physically refresh the link. But it was nearly 3 AM and I was in the zone so I kept trudging along.

A few minutes later I got an error message from my server connection, and it went downhill from there.  Once I couldn’t save my changes, I did some light troubleshooting and concluded that “the internet” was down.  Was it the Internet, or just me?   If the entire Internet was down (not likely), or just Comcast (likely), or just the people on my street/block (extremely likely), then I knew someone would have it fixed by morning.  And since it was 3AM, I saved everything locally and went to bed, knowing I still had to get up in 3 hours.

After my Internet went out at 3AM in a middle of a looming deadline, I went to bed and woke up just three hours later, oblivious to reality. After slamming the snooze button three or four times, I finally rolled out of bed and headed off to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, grabbing the iPad on the way.  As the pot was brewing I checked my email like I always do, and saw no new messages.  This made sense, since no one in their right mind sends emails between 3 and 6 in the morning.  I switched over to Flipboard to get caught up on the news and it had trouble loading.

And that’s when it hit me. “OMG- I’ve got no Internet!”

Remembering the events of the previous evening I stupidly went into the home-office and stared at a now lifeless modem. “No lights”.  I thought.  Since I deal with this everyday I went straight into troubleshooting mode.  Unplug the power… wait… plug it back in… wait.  It was during these few minutes that I noticed that my modem was steaming hot.  I mean like, “hmm, it that normal?” hot.  But maybe that is normal.  Either way, I was totally not shocked when the modem didn’t spring to life.  Plus, I had a deadline to hit so I decided to forget troubleshooting the device for now.

I went back into the kitchen and poured myself some coffee.  Since I couldn’t check my email, and I couldn’t check my news, I figured I’d see what my meeting schedule looked like for the morning… “Oh- that’s online…”. Denied.  I made a quick breakfast with the understanding that if I were going to get anything done this morning, I needed to get to the office ASAP.

I sucked down some more coffee and breakfast and proceeded into the “routine” which starts with ironing my shirt and pants for the day and getting caught up on the news.  I sparked up the iPad like I always do, set to watch whatever reruns were playing on TWIT.tv  while ironing.  I pointed the iPad browser to live.twit.tv and realized, “oh- that’s like, the internet too, huh?”.   Without TWiT to push me into the day, I finished up the ironing and prepared to jump in the shower.

With the water slowly becoming hot, I booted into Pandora on my iPhone to listen to some music while in the shower.  You know- like I always do. But, something was wrong and nothing played.  ”Ah,” said I, “damn that Internet!”

Finally I headed out of the house, totally off my game due to 3 hours sleep and thrown out of my routine.  While at work I managed to get my presentation completed moments before the actual presentation (it went pretty well too, considering) and went on with the days events.

Toward the afternoon I started compiling my must-complete-before-tomorrow list.  ”email such and such… update employee database… check with program partners…”  ”ah no worries- I’ll do that when I get home…”  (pause) “SON OF A!!” By the end of the day, I had a good 2-4 hours of work to do, that I would typically do on a sofa in slippers, with a glass of Knob Creek and pounding dubstep throughout the house to block out the outside world.   I rolled the dice and headed home.    I immediately checked the modem to see it was still dead.

Then I spent the next 40 minutes wrestling with Comcast Customer Service- (note to Comcast: Do not try and upsell us while we’re on hold for Customer Service- we are already pissed off at you.)  Finally the human says “we can send a guy out anytime between 9am and 5pm…”  You know- when most people are at work?  Option two: “you can always stop by one of our brick-and-mortars and swap out your modem”.  GREAT! I thought- What time are they open?  “Monday through Friday, 10am to 6pm”.   In a word- USELESS!

We finally scheduled a time for a field tech to come out first thing Saturday morning- It was at this time that I began to realize exactly how much I expect Internet access at the home…

*Follow the Internet Apocalypse here.*

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Finally, an article about me, that’s actually about me*

With all the Sherwin Smith’s out there doing good things (and bad things) on the Internet, finally Google Alerts tracks down an article that’s about me, “the” Sherwin Smith. Okay, so it’s not *about* me, but it has my statement, and not completely misquoted.

the jerk-phonebook

“The top questions asked of RCCs were about the wireless network and cluster printers, which is consistent with our understanding that the wireless network and centralized printing are two of the most widely used technology services at Stanford,” Smith wrote in an email to The Daily…” [Stanford Daily]

Yay! I’m famous!

Related Links:
Stanford Daily

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What’s New at SherwinRocks?

In the spirit of Kali, sometimes you just have to break things.

A couple minor yet significant updates on ye olde blog, effective immediately…

Kali: Goddess of Time, Change, or Destruction, depending who you ask.

 

- Name Change: From Last One Out to SherwinRocks is ironically accurate with my real-life changes, but I won’t bore you.  This change ought to break a few search engines but in the long run, supports the long-term goals of this site…

- Donate via PayPal!  Hey- The music is free to you, but not free for me. Proceeds from the SherwinRocks Music Fund go solely toward the development and distribution of free and affordable independent music and production services.  Drop a buck or two now and then won’t cha?

- Podcast Ready! Okay- sort of ready.  Smart people can copy the RSS link and paste it into their favorite podcast aggregator, and in theory, only the music should show up.  I think.  Someday universal one-click subscription will be available, and the world will be my oyster!

- SherwinRocks Radio! Click the “Music” Link on any page and get hours of COMMERCIAL FREE programming from the SherwinRocks archives!

Comments, suggestions, gripes, and special requests, welcome!

In the words of Kali, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” (Or was that Nietzsche?)

Related Links:

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Re: why did you buy a vespa?

Ah, the age old, obligatory Forum question…   And my retort?

“I don’t think it’s fair to say “I’ve always wanted one”- at some point in life, everyone wants a Vespa, right? The best way to summarize is from an SMS i sent my friend last night: “Remember that time you bought something you totally didn’t need and didn’t even know you wanted until you saw a deal on it too good to pass up?” It was either the Vespa or a new TV.

But the more I think about it, my first MINI Cooper got me in touch with the concept of a vehicle as more than a means of transportation, my first sense of community with actual adults, and a tangible expression of my interest in UK/Euro culture. I’m hoping the Vespa extends my experiences into a second community.

Best part- it’s true!

(okay yeah, maybe that too…)

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Needful Things, Part Two…

You may have figured out by now that when it comes spontaneity, I like to plan ahead. (*rimshot*). No, seriously!

I’ve been considering a pretty large purchase for about three weeks now, weighing the pros and cons, and my own little three week S.W.O.T. analysis. Finally, today, I brought this little bugger home:

Isn’t he/she/it the cutest?! I’m not necessarily into purple, or naming inanimate objects.  But sometimes things just happen, right?  I have some pretty exciting plans for the little guy, including actual photos, and not crashing it.  I’ll keep you posted!

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CSUSB Student Email Moving to Google

Filed under “got out just in time!”…

Although I am no longer a student at California State University, San Bernardino, As an Alum I still get email from there.  Just in time to get un-noticed by the Google controversy of the week, comes the word that Student Email from my Alma Mater is moving to “Coyote Mail Powered by Google”.   Nice branding!  I could go on an on for days about how this is such a not good idea, but since most people are already seeing ads giving away their data using Gmail anyway, I’d be talking to the wall.

Not evil. No, seriously.

My favorite line of the free ad Press Release,

“We are anticipating this effort to go as smoothly as it has at other CSU campuses…”  Muuwaaaahahaha

Here’s the full text, since nothing says it’s a secret:

From: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Date: August 5, 2010 3:57:08 PM PDT
To: campus
Subject: CSUSB Student Email Moving to Google

California State University, San Bernardino Is Moving Student Email to Coyote Mail Powered by Google

An email account and access is free and easy for anyone to create in today’s world. Most students coming to campus already have personal email accounts and are frequent users. Over the years email has become increasingly more important to the institution and remains the mechanism for campus academic and administrative student communications.

After more than a year of looking into its offering, California State University, San Bernardino (CSUSB) is moving forward with a plan to phase out the antiquated and costly SUN/Oracle Solaris student email system in favor of a new relationship agreement with Google. The agreement will provide not only Gmail accounts for communications between the university and students but also additional applications that students can use to interact with each other. The initial Gmail offering, which is already operational at several other CSU campuses, comes to the university at no additional cost.

The decision to transition to Google has been brought to the attention of constituencies such as the Academic Affairs Council, Administrative Council, ASI, Faculty Senate, etc. All are in agreement that the current environment does not make the grade and that Google is a viable alternative with unique benefits. For example, Gmail offers more storage and a more contemporary Web interface.

By using the CSUSB Gmail account, students will have access to Google Apps, a hosted integrated communications and collaboration suite which includes:

Google Gmail:
Each user account has over 7GB of mail storage and an attachment size of 25 MB. Search tools that facilitate finding information fast and performing instant messaging from right inside their accounts using “Google Talk.”

Google Talk:
Send instant messages to your contacts for free anytime, anywhere in the world.

Google Calendar:
Organize your schedules and share events and calendars with others.

Google Docs:
Share documents, spreadsheets, and presentations. Collaborate in real time with your team or anyone you invite to join.

One of the consequences of this transition is that it will be necessary to separate the email domains for students and faculty and staff. That is, the student’s email will migrate from @csusb.edu to @coyote.csusb.edu. In other words, students email in Gmail will be of the form account@coyote.csusb.edu.

Transition to Gmail system

The process for migrating existing student accounts in their entirety to Gmail will start sometime during the first three weeks of September 2010. The final dates still need to be determined. All of the existing messages, folders, configurations, etc, will move from the current account to the new account. Students WILL NOT lose access to their account, except during the transition period for each individual account. While an individual account is being transferred, the student may not be able to access his/her account for several hours. The main difference is that the Web interface will change from a SUN Web mail navigation to a Gmail navigation.

Access to the new “Coyote Mail” will be provided in several different ways, namely:
i) through a campus website – mail.coyote.csusb.edu, requiring the student’s Coyote-ID and password

ii) directly through gmail.com – requiring full email address (account@coyote.csusb.edu) and password, and

iii) through email clients (Thunderbird, Outlook, etc) using secure IMAP and POP protocols – requiring full email address (account@coyote.csusb.edu) and password.

In all cases, the password will be the same as the password set to access the MyCoyote portal.

The campus mail.csusb.edu site will be updated to reflect the changes and direct students to the new student email Web site

Impact to Campus Business Processes

All business processes that rely on student email-addresses will need to be reviewed and updated to reflect the change in the new domain.

In order to facilitate the transition and minimize the impact to all entities across the campus, email directed to students at their current @csusb.edu address will be delivered to their new “Coyote Mail” (@coyote.csusb.edu) for a period of one-year.

All of this is expected to take place this fall. We are anticipating this effort to go as smoothly as it has at other CSU campuses. An initial message will be sent out to the student community three weeks prior to the change and again one week before to prepare them for the Google transition. Should they need further information, a link to a website containing information, including a list of frequently asked questions, will be located at mail.csusb.edu. As another option, students can contact the help desk at (xxx) xxx-xxxx or xxxxx from on campus.

XXXXX XXXXXX
Information Security Officer

# # #

Personally, I hate Gmail and everything else Google makes you log in just to use *cough*Android*cough, and I always told my friend if CSUSB sold out their email to Google, that’s when I would stop using it.  Which is right… about… now…

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Sherwin Rocks! Almost…

I finally bought/registered my new domain name. now i just need a good hosting company that
a) supports wordpress (3.0+)
b) has good metrics
c) reasonable bandwidth rates
and
d) isn’t godaddy

:)

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All Moved In. Sort Of.

Im all moved into the new place finally. Well sort of…

Skipping the last seven weeks (you read them in previous posts), yesterday my friend and made the treacherous trek you’ve become so famiar with if you follow me on the Twitter. Only this time I was in the MINI and he drove a loaded to the gills, 14-foot rental truck. Somehow we managed to make it up in only 6 hours!

At our average rate of speed, gas mileage went to all hell. As the guy footing the bill, I was more concerned with time than any other detail. That and my car not falling apart. Again. another tale for another post.

Upon arrival we unloaded the truck as efficiently as possible. I am now fully moved into my new place. If stacks of unlabeled boxes and crates counts as moved in. And so begins the transformation from a two-bedroom storage unit, to a swank, swinging, bachelor pad! Soon. I promise. :)

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Stanford Acquires Smith in Aggressive Negotiations

I can hardly believe it myself that after 11 years at my current place of employment, I have accepted a new position at Stanford University! Ironically my new job is basically the same work I’ve been doing for 11 years, but a lot more of it- for a lot more money.

My new company carries brand recognition beyond comparison. I will oversee literally 10 times the number of employees, providing services for twice the number of client/customers as I do currently. Moving on to this new career is the ultimate manifestation of the “bittersweet moment”: After 11 years you either love or hate your job, right? Despite how much I bitch about it, I love my job.  I love the place, the people, the job description, the commute, etc. The money? Well… not so much.

But overall, leaving a job I can do in my sleep, and that is almost impossible to get fired from, surrounded by people whom I respect and admire, is not about the money. Okay, yeah- it’s about the money. But not JUST about the money. It’s about the opportunity, challenge, adventure, validation… you know- all that hippy crap everyone says they care about when really they care about the money more than anything. It’s also a lot about knowing I’ll never get a chance to “move up the ladder” like this ever again.  And let’s face it- I ain’t getting any younger!

I love where I live- my current house, neighborhood, and roommate comprise the best living conditions I’ve ever experienced outside of having parents take care of me. I’m not looking forward to giving it up.

Yes, I certainly have to uproot myself and move to literally unfamiliar territory.  The housing costs at my new job are over 300% higher on average, which means the chances of me living in a dumpy ghetto apartment again are pretty high! I’ll try to avoid it as best I can.

I leave behind many friends, family, and colleagues that will be missed greatly. I have a legacy of former and current employees that have since become good friends. Where I’m going I don’t know anyone! Talk about a major life upheaval?!

Still, I know this is the best thing for me- a chance to grow, learn new things, and influence a whole new world of people… either that or I’ll fall on face miserably, get fired, and join the ranks of destined-for-failure.

I start in less than a week on April 12th. I already have my first week of duties and meetings planned and I don’t know how long it will be before I can start going to the gym again. Funny how of all things, this irks me, huh?!

Viva Le Stanford!!

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Happy Valentines’ Day… Suckers. [NSFW]

In honor or irony of this fateful (filled?) day, I received my first chatbot in such a long time, that I actually fell for it for a couple minutes…

11:54 me_doxepi: hey, what’s goin on?

12:10 me_doxepi: are you there hun?

1:16 me: hello… i was @ lunch…

1:16 me_doxepi: i was going through a list of old friends and came across your name, hope you don’t mind me emailing you, i kinda forgot who you were. i’m amanda how bout you?

1:17 me: this is sherwin… from california

1:17 me_doxepi: nice to meet you, so what are you up to?

1:17 me: i’m at work today.  and you?

1:17 me_doxepi: cool, i’m just hangin around the house talking to people online, im from seattle washington, where are you from?

[note how "she" doesn't even answer the question!]

1:18 me: i’m in california

1:18 me_doxepi: thats cool, im 28, how bout you?

1:18 me: im 27

1:18 me_doxepi: have you ever been to seattle before? if not you should check it out, i just moved here not to long ago and i love it.

1:19 me: yes and no-

1:19 me_doxepi: would you like to see a picture of me?

1:19 me: sure! that would be cool

1:19 me_doxepi: here is one of the more recent ones i have.  i’m the one in the green, my best friend is on the left

[And if you one didn't already know it was a sham, here's the kicker. I mean, think about it. Both chicks are too hot to be chatting up strangers online on Valentines' Day! Where most people would feel embarrassed and terminate the session, I held out for the money shot...]

1:20 me_doxepi: do you like brunettes?

1:21 me: sure- as long as they’re cute

1:21 me_doxepi: hehe, do you have one of you? if so, email it to me at ahoughs420@xxxxxxx.com, i can’t recieve pictures on my yahoo for some reason but its nice to put a face with a name

1:21 me: i can send u a link– i’ve got too many pics of myself on the internet

1:22 me_doxepi: ok, ill give it a sec before i check my mail.

1:37 me_doxepi: are you there hun?

1:50 me: hello… i was @ lunch…

1:51 me_doxepi: so what kind of music do you listen to? i like a little bit of everything.

1:51 me: same here- a bit of everything… except slow jams.

1:51 me_doxepi: nice, hey i think i just got your pic, it’s nice to see who i’m talking to

note: i never send a photo. tee hee…

1:52 me: ah thanks. so, what’dya think?

1:52 me_doxepi: actually i have another one of me in a bikini, do you want to see it?

1:52 me: yes please.

1:53 me_doxepi: do you think i have a nice body?

1:53 me: yes.

1:53 me_doxepi: would you happen to have a webcam?

1:53 me: have u noticed you’re always drinking in your photos?

1:54 me_doxepi: i have one, i was thinking about turning it on in a little bit since i’m on my bedroom computer [again, avoiding the question! ;) ]

1:54 me: is that so?

1:55 me_doxepi: i just took a picture of my tits, wanna see? i think it’s a pretty good one

1:55 me: yeah go for it.

yeah- go for it!

1:55 me_doxepi: ok but this is for your eyes only. please don’t show anyone else

success!

1:55 me: tape measure!

1:56 me_doxepi: do you think i have nice tits?

1:56 me: why yes.

1:56 me_doxepi: i’m feelin a little frisky now, do you wanna come watch me on my cam?

1:56 me: sure!

[and for the sell...]

1:57 me_doxepi: i don’t know why but my cam only seems to work on this site for some reason, not yahoo i hope you like what you see http://www.xxxxxxxxx.com/amanda

1:58 me: ah- too bad because i don’t have any money

1:58 me_doxepi: i think it will cost you a dollar but if you let me know your username when you sign up i can let you see my cam for free i think other people have to pay the full amount.

1:59 me: sure thing…

===

Yeah… sure thing.

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