Archive for » July 30th, 2010«

“Your Frontman Is An Asshole” and Other Awesome Tips For Success


Today I was reminded of the time I got a call from my brother, distraught at the fact that the lead singer for his band “up and quit” to join another band, talking smack on his way out the door.  Anyone who has been in more that two rock bands knows this is standard fare and should expect it from time to time.  He and the remaining members of the band had just ran out of steam after a 2-hour rant about what an “egomaniac asshole he was”,  and my brother- for reasons I won’t get into- called me for advice.

He was pretty surprised when I told him not to sweat it and move on:

me: “…it’s not the end of the world…”
bro: “yeah I guess you’re right”
me: “…singer’s are a dime a dozen. Just get another one…”
bro: “true”
me: “besides- you *want* a frontman who’s an egomanic asshole”.
bro: “what? that doesn’t make sense”

Axl Rose: Biggest Asshole Frontman in the World

I broke it down to him like this:

What’s the frontman’s job in the band? To get everyone all riled up and excited and thinking your band is the coolest thing since bread pudding.  (mmmm… pudding….)  You WANT a guy who will strut back and forth across the stage like he owns the place.  You WANT a guy who thinks he’s the shit and can project that to the crowd (the attitude, not the shit!). You WANT a guy who, through his sheer “that guy acts like he’s so damn cool, he must be cool”-ness, is able to convince teeming masses of teens, wannabees, and losers to hang on his every word.  Especially when those words are “buy our stuff fuckers!”

When you’re talking about a certain kind of rock and roll, you need an egomanic who “knows” people want to hear what he has to say.  And since egomaniacs are usually assholes too, you deal with it.  Seriously. Think about the greatest rock and roll frontmen in the world and what do you find?  Egomaniacs and assholes.  Here are a few off the top of my head:

David Lee Roth – total egomaniac
James Hetfield – asshole
Robert Plant – egomaniac
Jim Morrison – egomaniac (cool when sober, asshole the other 90% of the time)
Axl Rose – egomaniac *and* a Total Asshole!
Mick Jagger – ego friggin maniac, ugly as sin, and still gets laid!
Vince Neil – sort of an egomanic, not really an asshole, but not really that good of  frontman either
Steven Tyler – total egomanic, later becomes an asshole too.  (and tied with Mick in the ugly race).
Bono – total egomaniac and still not a very good frontman
Ozzy Osbourne – Actually Ozzy is the exception to every rule in the book. He’s the Chuck Norris of rock!!
Dave Matthews…  um, exactly.

This concept probably extends to other genres as well, but I don’t consider myself well-versed in them enough to speak with authority. Although I’m pretty sure every successful rapper in the world was born an egomaniac.  You’ll also notice I didn’t mention John Lennon or Geddy Lee or even that guy from Dream Theatre, because while great frontmen, and certainly rock stars, aren’t the kind of rock I’m talking about right now.

So, the next time you’re thinking, “man- what a dick”, you might also want to think, “I wonder if he can sing?”

Here’s “Diamond” David Lee Roth, talking about how he’s not an egomaniac.

Me? Ego?

[Source: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46fXf5dT2nc]

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